The Relationship begins:

• The beginning of a relationship is an exciting, emotional time. Your boyfriend or girlfriend acts somewhat jealous and possessive, but you tell yourself this just means that he/she loves you.
• A pattern of verbal and emotional abuse begins to emerge. You find yourself being very careful not to "set him off."
• Seeing friends becomes too difficult because he/she gets upset when you spend time with others. He/she wants to know where you are all the time, and checks up on you by cell phone, beeper, or through friends.
• You feel more and more uneasy and develop that "walking on eggshells" feeling, worrying that something you do or say will cause an abusive response from your boyfriend or girlfriend.
• Your boyfriend or girlfriend gets violent, physically harming or restraining you, or threatening to hurt you if you don't do what they want. They may blame you for the violence and tell you they wouldn't hurt you if you would just do what they tell you.
• Your boyfriend or girlfriend is remorseful and apologizes for the outburst. He/she promises you it will never happen again. Maybe he/she gets you a gift or is especially sweet for awhile. You may believe you still love him/her and tell yourself your boyfriend or girlfriend will change. But as we've said, people who abuse their partners don't change.
• The abuse begins again, and the cycle goes on, usually getting worse and worse over time.